3rd Beta

My nurse called me today, several times. I missed her first two calls and she didn't leave messages. That's not normally a good sign. I happen to know that she doesn't leave messages with bad news, so I called her back and left a kind of panicked message apologizing for missing her first two calls (which were two minutes apart while I was in a meeting) and telling her I'd be reachable on my cell phone for the rest of the day. She called back about 15 minutes later.

She's completely baffled. "How are you feeling?" she asked. "Icky." "Yeah? Nauseous?" I was feeling, frankly, too sick to correct her with the word "Nauseated" and simply said, "yep."

She went on to say that she's baffled and shocked, but that the numbers are looking "very pregnant" at this point. She cautioned that she doesn't want to get my hopes too far up yet, because it's still early, but she's in shock and happy with the numbers. Let's review:

Friday, 8/11: 23.8
Monday, 8/14: 102
Today, 8/16: 259!

Holy moly.

Unfortunately, the damper in this is that I'm having really disturbing cramping and steady, though not too heavy, bleeding. I thought the bleeding had abated yesterday, but it came back with a vengeance today, worse than ever. So I daresay, I'm more optimistic today than I was on Monday and leagues ahead of the lack of optimism I had last Friday, but I'm still extremely cautious about getting too excited. I did, however, buy a pregnancy book. Or, um, two of them. Even though I knew full well I was only jinxing myself when I did that, I couldn't help myself.

You know the crazier part? I just can't seem to stop peeing on sticks. I know what the result is going to be, but I get so darned happy every time I see that second line pop up, darker every day, that I just can't help myself. My, but this is an expensive addiction. I'm hoping I'll get over it once I have an ultrasound.

So the current plan of action is to have another beta on Friday, and again on Monday, and then an ultrasound later next week or the week after. Then I'm hoping I can exhale a tiny bit, though I get the feeling I'm going to be holding my breath a little bit until this is all over for better or for worse.

Gah! Is this really happening!!??? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!