Friday, November 02, 2007

How's J Doing?

I keep forgetting that people are asking about how J is adjusting to the three little siblings in his life. He's actually doing really well with them. I know he spent a long time ASKING for a brother or sister, but I also know in his little mind he thought he was going to get a sibling his age to play with. I'm sure he has no idea what to think about having three little babies in his life. But he's very affectionate toward them. He likes to "pet" the babies (e.g. caress their soft heads) and he enjoys holding them and feeding them a bottle (Abby is still getting bottles all of the time and Ellie and Sam occasionally get a bottle still, though it's less common... but they all only get breastmilk regardless of the delivery method). I've never posted a picture of J, because I've been wary of his mother coming across this site, but at this point, I'm not sure that's such a huge danger, so I'll post one picture, with the caveat that it may not stay here forever:



That's J feeding Ellie about two weeks ago. It was the first time I'd let him hold a baby (and we were RIGHT THERE balancing her) and he loved every second of it. He has a particular fondness for Sam, but adores his sisters as well. He is generally respectful of their need for quiet and peace, though he sometimes forgets, but that's to be expected. He is very, very good with them. We are definitely seeing adjustment issues in less direct ways, of course. Our bedroom is downstairs and the babies are with us, and his bedroom is upstairs. This never bothered him before, but suddenly he gets lonely when it's bedtime and he's sad that no one is there to sleep with him. He's started claiming to have more bad dreams (but he comes down complaining of the bad dreams long before he's had a chance to fall asleep) and he makes many more claims of monsters and ghosts in his room than he used to, all in the name of stalling at bed time. He's slightly more clingy than he used to be, and doesn't enjoy having play time by himself the way he used to. He craves having someone to play with him, though it doesn't have to be me or Seth... it just has to be someone. He apparently requires a little extra TLC at school and has a little more difficulty reigning in his energy levels than usual.

But basically, there's nothing we didn't expect. He loves the babies. He's adjusting, but not without some bumps. He's totally normal. We are very, very proud of him and we do our best to give him lots of extra hugs and kisses every day. He's a very sensitive kid.

16 comments:

pam said...

what a sweet boy! and he looks SO PROUD to be feeding one of the babies there. :)

Shelby said...

What a sweetheart! He's just adorable! Good to hear that he's adjusting so well!

Reese said...

What an amazing boy! And so cute! So happy for all of you.

Catherine said...

What a proud big brother! So cute.

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

I think you have the cutest little 4 year old ever! That smile would melt a heart of stone!!!

Everything you say makes sense about his adjustment. All of a sudden, everyone ELSE has someone to "play" with and "sleep" with and "be" with. He naturally would want to be included. Sounds like you and Seth are doing a great job taking care of his emotions and keeping him feeling loved just as much as everyone else.

Jessica said...

godness I love that picture... It makes my heart very happy.

megan said...

i love hearing about how your family is growing and developing with the arrival of the triplets. it's so wonderful. J. is just adorable.

Erin said...

J looks like such a sweetie, and his face is just beaming with pride at holding a baby for the first time! Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I'm glad to hear that he's doing well adjusting and there aren't any unexpected surprises.

Bean said...

Thanks for sharing the photo and for the update -- I'm tearing up something awful!

Bean said...

Thanks for sharing the photo and for the update -- I'm tearing up something awful!

Meghan said...

Great picture. He sounds like a wonderful big brother.

Chris said...

That picture makes my heart a little melty.

Anonymous said...

He is so sweet! I am glad he is adjusting ok to three babies.

Rachel Inbar said...

He's so cute and looks so proud!!! Everything you wrote sounds perfectly normal. He is one lucky boy to have you and his siblings!!!

OHN said...

It helped me a ton when I had the son#1 as the helper for the baby. I told him that the baby loved him so much because he was helping and when the baby smiled at him that just confirmed what I had been telling him. I also told son #1 that I just couldn't manage without all his help. He felt so important that until they were highschool age there was really never any rivalry at all between them.

amber said...

he is absolutely adorable! and he looks so happy feeding his sister there --- just gives me chills. :)