Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Google Searches (*updated with a few new ones*)

T0 the person who found my page by searching for:

"If everything is working perfectly, why wouldn't I get pregnant?"
I'm very sorry that you've found my page, and I hope that you're asking a hypothetical question. The brief answer is that human beings are an incredibly inefficient species when it comes to reproduction and we have only a 20% chance of conceiving on any given cycle when EVERYTHING is working perfectly. Those are pretty crappy odds, don't you think? For a more complex or specific answer, feel free to email me and I'll try to point you in the right direction.

"Triplets all died"
I am so, so sorry. I wish there were better words to express my grief that someone had to use this search phrase.

"risk of sneezing after iui"
Wow. That's a new one. Not to worry. The whole point of the IUI is that the little swimmers get beyond the cervix. The cervix is pretty cool in that it'll keep the little swimmers where they belong. If you sneeze, you're not going to lose or damage them, which is, I assume, your concern.

"Need to pee affecting my sleep"
If you're pregnant, get used to it, I'm afraid. And, by the way, it's only going to get worse. Especially if you have triplets. If you're not pregnant, and this is becoming a serious problem, please speak with your doctor. Also, try not to drink too much in the last couple hours before you go to bed. If you're pregnant with triplets and you're anything like me, you're thirsty as all heck and not drinking before bed is NOT AN OPTION. But if you're not pregnant, you might find you're able to abstain from water/other liquid for a couple hours before bedtime, which will help to ensure an emptier bladder.

"Complete Previa Freaking Out"
I hope you're not still freaking out. But if you are, please do stop freaking. If it's early in your pregnancy, it's likely to resolve itself. With singleton pregnancies, 90% of first trimester previas resolve themselves before delivery. Even complete previas. The previa symptoms are scary in that you might see some heavy bleeding which leads to the discovery of the previa, but usually the bleeding stops without serious incident or consequence. The main conseqence of a previa that doesn't resolve itself is that a complete previa in late pregnancy requires a c-section delivery. While not idyllic for some women... do remember that the important thing is that at the end of the day on delivery day, you get to meet your baby, and you and baby come out healthy.

"Healthy and fertile still on clomid to have twins"

Personally, I don't recommend it. Seriously. Suzanne got quadruplets with clomid. Plus, twins aren't exactly a guarantee with Clomid. I think multiples are still less than 10% with Clomid use. And honestly? I mean, I love twins and all, but when are people going to realize that being pregnant with multiples (yes, even twins) is high risk and serious business??

"Why does ovary get loose?"
What? Really? Loose? Ick!

"blog triplets pcos"
Yep. You got me. Described me perfectly. How may I help you? It makes me wonder if you were looking for me specifically or if you were looking for random bloggers who have PCOS who ended up with triplets because that's what happened with you. Well, anyway, that's me. So hi!

"pregnant pain in right ovary"
Pregnant pain in ovary? How do you know it's a pregnant pain? Can your ovary be pregnant? I'm truly not trying to make light of the question, I'm trying to understand it. Could it be that you're having ovulatory pain? I'm not sure, because I never really had that kind of pain, but maybe that's it. Oh, wait, I'm a dufus. You probably ARE pregnant and experiencing some pain in your ovary. Duh. I'm stupid, sorry, ignore me. RIGHT. GOT IT. Okay, here's the deal. It's possible that you've got a luteal cyst where the corpus luteum is/was. Usually this isn't a big deal but can cause some pain. If the pain is severe, worsening, or isn't going away, you should speak to your doctor about it.

"Best shots made with sour puss"
Okay, I get how you ended up at my post entitled "Sour-puss no more" especially since it referred to belly shots. But honestly? I'm pretty sure that wasn't what you were looking for! Why did you even click on that link? Didn't you realize that "My Perky Ovaries" couldn't possibly be what you wanted when you so clearly wanted to go on a drinking binge? Holy Moly! Well, points for making me snarf, that's for sure.


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

very funny post!

Sunny said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you are so helpful and funny!

Anonymous said...

I am laughing at these. . .

Leah Goodman said...

LOL! Great!

Chris said...

This cracked me up (and made me pee a little). Thanks for posting!

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

LOL!!! I Love, Love, Love looking at Google searches that lead people to my blog. Unless of course, they're like some of the sad ones you got. But still, that last one... HA! Thanks for a great laugh.

nickoletta100 said...

you made me giggle and for that I thank you!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I love reading how people find me via searches. The really good ones I jot down for a laugh later on :-) Yours commentary is too funny.

Watson said...

Some of those made me want to cry, but some had me laughing out loud -- ah, the *joys* of IF!!

Heidi said...

"sneezing after IUI" wasn't me, but I'm glad to know that some one else is as crazy as I am. I started a sneezing attack no less than 20 minutes after mine on Friday. And then I had to poop before it had even been an hour...

Thanks for a laugh!