Okay

I'm okay. My OB was working in the office that doesn't have a very good ultrasound machine, so he sent me to the other office for an ultrasound and to meet with another OB in the practice. There are still three babies with three heartbeats. That, apparently, is all I need to know.

After the ultrasound I met with Dr. P, who I now know I despise. To be fair English isn't his first language, but even though my Spanish is reasonable (I used to live in Spain), I don't know how to say "cervix" in Spanish. And besides, he's been in the US most of his life, so I'm not inclined to cut him much slack. After the ultrasound, I went into his office and he looked through the partial record of mine that had been faxed over from the office that holds my record. "Triplets, huh?" Yep. Triplets. "But you knew that before today, right?" Yep. I sure did.

He said, "well, the babies are fine." Okay. Long pause. I waited for him to say something more interesting, but he didn't. So eventually I said, "So I should assume the bleeding is nothing and not worry about it?" Well, he said, at this stage of pregnancy when a patient complains of bleeding (okay, seriously? I hate that! "complains of bleeding"... I wasn't complaining! I was informing!) they check for viability and that's the only thing I need to know.

Then he went on and on about my care and ultimately decided (without any input from me) that the real problem is getting me to term, or as close to it as possible. The delivery, he said, wouldn't be any problem at all, because that's easy and anyone in the practice can do that. But getting me there, well, obviously I'd need to be seeing the perinatologist. And now that he thinks about it, I should just have the perinatologist do all of my care until it comes time for that easy c-section. "I love my doctor. You are not taking him away from me." But he persisted. "I'll talk it over with Dr. B, but I'm inclined to think that since you'll be seeing them so often, there's no reason for you to see us." I clenched my teeth. "You cannot stop me from seeing Dr. B. I love him."

And by the way, telling a hormonal pregnant chick, who's in the middle of a small nervous breakdown because God just won't give her a break, that the c-section is the "easy" part is not wise. Easy for who? Certainly not for ME!

So, I totally get that I'm being a bitch. But you know, what I wanted to know was that my babies were fine. I wanted to know that the bleeding was nothing to worry about. I wanted to know that I could breathe. I did not want to know that in HIS opinion I needn't bother seeing the doctors I'm supposed to trust to CUT OPEN MY ABDOMEN. The only good news of it all is that Dr. P (the doctor I saw today) is phasing out of obstetrical procedures and there is NO WAY HE'LL EVER GET NEAR ME WITH A SCALPEL. Ahem.

I love Dr. B. They are not taking him away from me. (And anyway, the perinatology practice will NOT see patients unilaterally. They only do care bilaterally. So at least I don't have to fear Dr. P's threat to have me stop seeing their practice)

So right: the good news is that there are three heartbeats so I have a temporary reprieve on worrying and I should get more information tomorrow, since I'm having the nuchal fold scan at the perinatologist's office anyway. The bad news is, of course, I had to cancel my appointment at Georgetown and I'm just not sure it's worth trying to reschedule at this point. Thanks for all your kind comments in my last freak-out post. I appreciate your concern.