A friend of mine has 3 kids: a 5 year old boy (conceived naturally), and one year old twin girls (conceived via IVF). She came over yesterday under the guise of bringing me some soup (she makes amazing soups, so I never turn her down when she offers soup) to tell me that she's expecting her (dear heavens!) fourth child in July. Conceived naturally. Complete and total "whoops, how did that happen?" baby. She, in fact, isn't even certain of the due date, because she wasn't paying attention to when she ovulated and besides, she's still nursing twins, so who woulda thunk it?
She was somewhat nervous about telling me, given that she went to the same fertility clinic that I go to and she knows how hard it all can be. I told her I really, for the most part, don't work that way. I don't believe there is a limited amount of fertility in this world. Just because another woman gets pregnant doesn't mean there's one less chance for me, right?
Wow, she said. "What a great attitude, because I know when I was going through Shady Hell, every time someone told me they were expecting, I just thought to myself: 'die, bitch, die!'" I almost fell over laughing. She's a very religious woman. Extremely intelligent. A doctor. Very logical. Rarely emotional. It was completely out of character, but oh-so-funny!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Limited Fertility?
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5 comments:
I agree that there isn't a limited supply of fertility. But I'll also freely admit to thinking "die, bitch, die" towards some pg people. Not my friends, of course...
You do have a great attitude about it. I never believed that there was limited fertility either, but it was always a "Why not me also?" reaction when someone told me that they were pregnant. That seems to be going away somewhat with our decision to stop treatments and adopt, which is very nice.
I'm hopeful for you this cycle!
I tend to have the "die, bitch, die" first reaction, but then soon switch to joy about their pregnancy. Besides, if other women didn't get pregnant, who would I get tips from when my turn comes?
I often have both feelings simultaneously. I'm completely happy for my very best friend and her three children, but when I'm less rational I also feel like she somehow cut in the cosmic baby line!
I hope you had success with this IUI!
I also have very contradictory feelings when people (friends, my younger sister) announce they're expecting...
I am happy for them (esp. if they're former IF'ers) and realize that one woman's fertility doesn't lessen MY chances, but at the same time I often feel some of that self-pitying, why not me? attitude.
It's just never easy though, no matter what the circumstances.
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