sick, emotional lability, and the two week wait

On Monday I had some horrible stomach flu. Fever, vomitting, general ickiness. I was in bed most of the day. I figured I'd follow the pattern of everyone else in the house and be fine the next day. Except on Tuesday I woke with a sore throat, fever, general ickiness, and it hurt to breathe, though I didn't feel terribly congested.

I went to work anyway, having missed two days last week, but when my officemate/team lead walked in she took one look at me and said I should see a doctor. And then I burst into tears. Because that's what I do when I'm stressed out and feverish. Fevers always make me emotionally labile, but stress compounds it. And, while I'm being completely honest here, prometrium sure as heck doesn't help matters.

I went straight from work to my doctor who decided I had a severe sinus infection. A prescription for antibiotics and I was on my way. I spent most of yesterday in bed. Today I feel somewhat better, but I'm really glad my officemate told me not to even think about coming back into work until Thursday. I believe I'll be okay to go in tomorrow, but today would have really been pushing it. I've spent a good deal of today in bed as well, which is fabulous.

I'm really quite done with being sick, you know. On the other hand , it sure has made the two week wait more bearable. If only I could manage to be sick for another week and a half. Feeling sorry for myself does make the time fly, you know. Only nine more days to go. If we weren't already doomed since S had quite a fever on IUI day, then for sure my feverish self has surely doomed whatever miniscule chance we did have. No big deal, we'll just move on to the next cycle, but I do so tire of this, don't you?

Meanwhile, having been confined to my bed, I watched a couple movies that have been sitting around from Netflix. I watched the Emperor's Club on Monday... or was it Sunday? Whatever. I started out hating it, and would have turned it off, except it was keeping me company while I walked on my treadmill (you wouldn't believe a chick this fat actually does exercise, would you? Well, I do!). Actually, it turned out quite well. I despise Kevin Kline, and think the role could have been better cast, but it turned out the plot had enough meat to it to make it interesting in the end.

Today I started to watch Liam, which I remembered I'd wanted to see when it came out in theatres, but never got around to it. It's been on my Netflix queue forever, and I've only just gotten around to it. Since I was feeling less feverish, I decided sinus infection or not, I had no excuse but to be on the treadmill. So I popped in Liam and got on the treadmill. I got about 15 minutes into it before I decided it wasn't compelling enough. I'm sure it's a fine movie, but just wasn't something I wanted to watch just then. I instead put in Evelyn, a Pierce Brosnan, Aidan Quinn, Julianna Marguiles, etc. movie. I had never heard of it, but Netflix had recommended it. Turned out to be an incredibly compelling story (true, even) of a man in 1950's Ireland whose wife abandoned him and he fought the Irish Supreme Court to establish his right to raise his children himself.

Another fine way to spend the two week wait. But... it will be several more days before I have any more Netflix movies, and I am hoping to be healthy enough to work tomorrow, so how on earth am I going to make the next 9 days pass quickly? I haven't even considered peeing on any sticks yet, though don't tempt me. I get that it would be futile, and ridiculous. I just wonder how long I'll believe that. It was 12 days post IUI last time that I showed up even pregnant (on a beta hCG), barely, and that was the first day that a First Response test showed a positive result also. So I certainly couldn't POAS until at least... um... Tuesday. And that would be silly and a complete waste of money, since we all know I'm not pregnant, nor am I going to be. Plus, since I'm having the beta hCG drawn a week from Friday, I should be able to wait, right? RIGHT? Stop laughing!