CD1

Not that it's a shock or anything, but IUI number 4 failed. Today is Day one. That's slightly surprising, as it's a little early, but I can live with it. I called my nurse and left a message asking her to call in my script for BCPs so I can prepare for an IVF cycle. But now I'm being schizophrenic. I looked at my calendar and realized I have to be away for the second week of September (I'll be in Phoenix for training), and that could make things more difficult.

So when my nurse calls me, I'm going to apologize for being schizophrenic, and I'll ask if we can just do one more IUI cycle (which was the original plan anyway). I'm sure it will be fine, and I'll need to pick up more meds, but I can do that on Friday, when I'll have to be there for monitoring anyway, if we make this an IUI cycle.

Right. See, I had decided NOT to chicken out on the IVF cycle. I had decided to suck it up and deal with the PIO IM shots. I had decided to stop being a baby. I had decided that getting pregnant was more important than my irrational fears. And then my calendar got in the way anyway.

I'm not having fun anymore.