Random notes

Holy cow. I'm pregnant. With triplets. Seriously! I keep thinking this is someone else's life I'm dreaming about or writing about or apparently completely obsessing about. Then I remember that I already woke up and this really is MY life, not some bizarre story someone told me about once. It's me. I'm the pregnant person. With triplets. For the moment. Parts of me have absoultely no doubt that come the fall, I'm going to have three little monsters to chase after (as much as one chases after newborns who don't move much, which is a good thing, since I'll also be recovering from a c-section). The rest of me can't imagine I'll ever make it that far.

But I digress.

I talked to my husband last night and reiterated my frustration about the MFM doctor, but then got smart and asked him if he came away with the same impressions I had. Yeah, um, no. He didn't. He, in fact, came away with almost the exact opposite impressions that I came away with. He didn't feel like the MFM doc was pushing an agenda. He felt like she was very clear that reduction was only one of my options, and while she believe it was probably my best option, she never indicated that it was my only option (I agree with his assessment on that point). Yes, she put the reduction on the schedule, but told me several times that just because it was on the schedule didn't mean I couldn't cancel it (now that he reminds me, I remember her saying that, but I guess the impact of the words didn't leave enough of an impression on me). Essentially the one complaint that I have that he agrees with is that no one has said, "While we still believe reduction is your best option, you should know that there are a few associated risks. And here's what we'll do to control those risks."

I don't think there's any real likelihood that I'm going to have a reduction. I don't think the evidence, even given my medical issues, is compelling enough to change my mind on this. So maybe it's just not all that relevant that no one has tried to address the risks, and maybe I should stop being all uppity about that point, since it may just be completely irrelevant. I don't feel uncomfortable with the care this practice would give me should I choose not to reduce. Maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. I hear that happens when you're pregnant. Could it be that this is just another of a myriad of pregnancy symptoms?

And is it really true? Am I seriously pregnant? With triplets???????? How could this be!? When will I wake up?

P.S. I think I'm brewing a new kidney stone and I am definitely not appreciating this, since there's not a darned thing that a pregnant lady can do about a kidney stone.