Update on the State of the Me

Sorry I went AWOL. Everything's fine, as far as I know.

I had my last appointment with Shady Hell Fertility Shmertility Clinic on Friday, 9/8. Everything looked fine. My RE couldn't find a source of the bleeding on the ultrasound, so she's not concerned that it's anything serious and it "just happens to some 'lucky' women." She did say to refrain from sex until it stops (and those of you who know what it means to be an Orthodox Jew know that that is not a problem to comply with), and to try to take it easy, physically, but she doesn't think anything's wrong.

It feels sort of odd to leave the safety net of the clinic. I know their routine. I know how to reach someone if I need to. I know all the doctors. I know how to get appointments at the times I want them. People know my name. The sonographer is funny! What if my OB's office is full of staff with no sense of humor? How will I survive? Besides, at the clinic, I could have an ultrasound anytime I wanted! Now I'm going to be restrained by insurance companies saying that even if I'm going completely insane and don't believe there's a real live fetus inside me I cannot have an ultrasound covered for another 8 weeks. Okay, so I'm not completely psychotic yet, but anymore cramping and bleeding and I swear I'm not going to believe there's anything left in there. What if my OB won't indulge an infertile in a quick peek?

Ack. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Right. So last week I was supposed to be in Phoenix, but I couldn't go because I had severe ear infections in both ears. If any of you parents out there ever wonder why your babies turn into demons when they get ear infections... wonder no more. IT HURTS LIKE HELL, THAT'S WHY! Like, landed me in the ER begging for morphine kind of hurt, not just "ow, maybe I need some tylenol" kind of hurt. Anyway, I didn't get on a plane, and I never recovered enough to even head to Phoenix a little late. I gave my presentation via phone conference, which wasn't as easy as it sounds, but it was better than nothing.

I have my first OB appointment on Wednesday. I'm hoping all is well.

I still don't have a billion normal pregnancy symptoms. I have ridiculously severe exhaustion. I thought I knew from exhaustion before, but I was completely wrong. Pregnancy exhaustion is a completely different beast. I'm not complaining, exactly, since I did ask for this, but boy I wish I'd really understood what I'd be getting myself into. I'm getting awful headaches. But that's normal for me. No migraine medicine = horrible pain regularly, and not much I can do about it. I'm queasy a lot of the time, but I'm not throwing up or anything. Things are starting to taste odd to me. I ate asparagus on Shabbos, and it tasted vile to me. I asked Seth if there was something wrong with it in general (overcooked asparagus is often bitter, so I wondered if maybe I was supersensitive and it was a tad overcooked) and he said it tasted just fine. So I don't know what happened, but it just tasted horrible. And today... I ate some pineapple and it tasted strongly of coconut. I hate coconut, so this is not in any way a positive development. My mango tasted funny too, but that might have been because I was still tasting the icky coconutty flavor of the pineapple. Again with the not complaining.

Other than that... nada. Except, oh yeah, how could I forget. "The girls"... I've gone up probably 2 cup sizes . Already. This is unacceptable. I was already well-endowed in that area and I invite them to cordially stop making my blouses too tight! I've actually LOST 10 pounds, but not one of my shirts fits correctly anymore. I bought a blouse that is two sizes bigger than anything I own and I can't even stretch THAT across the girls. So I'm not complaining about the exhaustion, headaches, queasiness, or odd taste sensations. But I am complaining about the ultra-mega-super boobs I seem to have developed. Though, I'm sure my husband isn't complaining, even if I am.

I've told my mother and my father (my father was shocked and didn't know what to say; my mother, predictably, was thrilled and is already annoying me by asking if she can come to one of my ultrasounds... a request which has been met with a resounding "NO" from me). We have not told any of my husband's family and I'd be happy to keep it that way, if I can get away with it. But um, probably at some point we'll have to spill the beans to them. You know, at the bar mitzvah, for example.

So yeah. Pregnancy... seems stable, if a bit unbelievable and somewhat inconvenient, what with the cramping and the falling asleep at my desk and the utter inability to complete a single task at work. And other than that, life is good. The kid (our foster son) turned three on Shabbos (Saturday), and he's so darned cute. We've had him for 2 years almost, and I can't even remember life without him. Except when I try really hard to remember those words "peace" and "quiet" applying to my life...

That is all.