Irritating

I'm really irritated. This whole pregnancy thing? Yeah, it's kind of cool. But you know what is decidedly NOT cool? The fact that G-d is laughing at me. That I'm not just allowed to be naive and happy with this whole thing. The fact that I HAVEN'T STOPPED BLEEDING even though I'm theoretically over halfway through my first trimester (what does that make me? In my second sexmester?). The fact that the cramping is EXACTLY like menstrual cramps. You know, like the bleeding wasn't enough to keep me in a blind panic. A pregnant friend of mine told me her early pregnancy cramps were so like menstrual cramps that she expected to see blood every time she peed. Except I DO see blood every time I pee! This is completely uncalled for. (As an aside: sometimes I'm grateful that I only have one faithful reader [Hi Jennie!], because if half the world was reading about me peeing and bleeding from ahem, down there, I'd be completely mortified. Thankfully, I'm boring enough that no one is reading my blog.)

On the other hand, some good news for a change. Remember how I was fretting about finding an OB since the OB I had painstakingly chosen based on friends' recommendations and my RE's recommendation wasn't taking new patients? Well, that was Friday. On Tuesday, I said to myself, "Self, why not just try the other office?" Since this OB has two offices, I decided to try the further away, less convenient office.

So I called and a helpful woman answered the phone.
"Hi, I was wondering if you're taking new patients?"
"Yes we are, what insurance do you have?"
"Fabulous! I have BC/BS."
"No problem then."
"Great! Well, um, I'm in the *mumblemumbleearlystagesofpregnancymumblemumble* and I guess I need an initial OB/prenatal appointment, whatever you call it."
"No problem! What's your last name? First name? Date of Birth? Oh, I see you're a patient in another CWC practice. Are you sure want to change providers, or were you interested in returning to that provider?"
"Oh I so, so, so am not going back to [name of provider]. But um, even if I wanted to, she only goes to Shady Hell, and I'd rather go to Holy Cross. You know, if we make it that far." [who, but an IF-er, would EVER say such a thing???]
"Oh! You live in Silver Spring? Do you work there too? Wouldn't you prefer to go to the Silver Spring office?"
"Why yes, as a matter of fact, that would be far more convenient. However, the Silver Spring office told me they were no longer accepting new patients."
"What? That's ridiculous. Of course they're accepting new patients. She must have misunderstood you."
"Um, well, I said, 'are you accepting new patients' and she said, 'no' so I'm not sure what there was to misunderstand..."
"Hang on a second. [time passes] Okay, they are accepting new patients. Here's their number. Call right away and ask for Monica and she'll take care of you.

Deciding that I didn't need to have another one of those conversations from my not very private cubicle, since my cubicle neighbors had just returned from a meeting, I went outside and called from my cell phone.

"CWC, how may I help you?"
"Hi, um, I was wondering if you're accepting new patients?"
"Yes, yes we are."
"Brilliant. Well, um, I'm theoretically pregnant, and um, I guess I need an OB appointment, and um, I was hoping either Dr. B or Dr. S could see me."
"How many weeks are you?"
"7"
"Have you had a blood test yet?"
"Well, yeah. Um, I'm a patient at Shady Hell Fertility Shmertility Clinic and so I've had like 6 blood tests. And 2 ultrasounds, soon to be 3."
"Okay, well, I need you to bring those results with you."
"Okay, no problem." [er... I guess I'll ask on Friday at Shady Hell how to obtain copies of those results??]
"Dr. B. can see you on the 20th. That's the next available appointment."
"Okay. That's great."
"9am?"
"Terrific"
"I'll mail you out the forms you can fill out and bring to your first appointment."
"Fabulous. Thanks!"

And so it goes.